Nothing new under heaven

I asked for, and received, the Lion Handbook to the Bible for Mother's day.  I've been hanging out for it for a long while and I began reading last Sunday evening.

I am so disappointed.

With the turn of every page there seems to be an underlying message: The Bible says X, but that's not what God meant.  From Genesis 1:1 onwards there is an unspoken "Did God really say/do/mean..."

Here are just a few examples:

God didn't really create the world in 6 days.  Query: what did Bible believing Christians think about creation prior to the "theory" of evolution?  What did they believe when they read about the six day creation? 

The flood wasn't global...just incidentally, if the flood wasn't global and all consuming, then God breaks his promise to man every time there is a local flood.  He promised Noah that he would never again destroy the earth with a flood.  Correct me if I am wrong, but aren't local floods a common occurence?  Either God wasn't telling the truth when he promised, or the flood wasn't a local one.  My money is on the latter.  I've staked my life on it. 

The plagues sent upon the Egyptians didn't manifest themselves as something miraculous; they were merely logical consequences of the natural world.

I could go on and on but it's far too depressing.

There is nothing new under heaven.  That's the exact same lie that Satan used in the Garden and we fell for it.  He doesn't have to update his techniques at all...the same lie works today as worked 10000 years ago. 

I have never been so disappointed in all my life.