Got a Target catalogue on Monday advertising a sale beginning at 9am today. They had a number of garments which fit the clothing ideas from MissusSmartypants in sizes up to and including 18. I am a 16-18 for most shirts and a definite 18 for pants/trousers etc. They even had some <ahem> "foundation garments" which appeared as though they would hold everything in without producing the dreaded muffin top. I am NOT a foundation garment kind of girl, but you do what you have to do. Arrived at Target at about 10.30 and discovered no size 18 garments anywhere!! About 3 size 16s scattered about, but in colours/patterns that I wouldn't be seen dead in, about twice the number of 14s as opposed to 16s and racks and racks and racks of 10s and 12s. The foundation garment section?? One pair of tricky undies such as I was seeking.
In a size 8.
I'm sorry, but if you are a size 8 the chances of you needing any sort of foundation garment is extemely small. Why do they even make foundation garments in a size 8???? I did observe some groovy little numbers: foundation garments with a g-string. Hello?!?!?!?! Foundation garments are not by their very nature tres s3xy...go for that one oh Google search engine...so what gives?
The chances of a posse of women in this district beating down Target's door at 9am to get their hands on tricky undies and leaving one pathetic pair of size eights on the rack is unbeliveably small. Where were the clothes advertised? They weren't on the racks.
So I thought all right, let's check out the foundation garments in body suits. Great. They had stacks of them. Rack upon rack even. But for every bra size up to a 16D. I am an 18DD. Thank you, Garment Manufacturers of the World. I do not exist. Or there are so few people like me we should be considered freaks and not worthy.
Or maybe I am just so enormous that there's no point trying to pretend that I'm anything else and I should just walk around in t-shirts with elephants screen printed* on them so that everyone understands. "Here comes the Elephant Lady. Tickets 5 for a dollar! Don't miss out! Limited opportunity! Freakishly proportioned woman on display must end Friday!"
*Aquamum and I actually saw one of these t-shirts in the window of the Lifeline shop. Which clothing manufacturer thought that a screen printed elephant was a good look on a woman's t-shirt? That's right up there with politicians allowing themselves to be photographed with goats.
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