I *think* I am strong enough to do this.
Lusi has a challenge running over on her blog: a challenge to Get Real and tell it like it really is, and not be some sort of mythical superwoman who has it all together. It's not about breast-beating, nor wallowing in self-pity, but it is about honesty. We are none of us superwomen, just ordinary mums who have moments of great encouragement and periods of feeling as though we're not making the grade.
Here's my first go at being "real".
- I baked a cake and some cupcakes on Thursday night and they're still in the pantry in a container uniced...really
- We ate McDonalds tonight as I am heading for a bad patch and couldn't organise my way out of a paper bag...really
- I've opened a Bible maybe twice in the last week...really
- I'm a leader at GFS this year and I have never felt more inadequate for a task in my life...really
- I know that I ought not feel like that as it is clear that God has called me to this work, but I do...really
- My entire desk space, all 3.3m 2 of it, is covered in stuff. There is enough room for the keyboard and that is all...really
- I didn't get to church today...really
- The three washing baskets in the laundry are full to overflowing and the kids are close to having nothing to wear...really
- I haven't made our bed for several days...really
- I haven't checked under Chickabid's bed...really
- I have overcommitted at church and now I need to scale back, but I lack the courage to actually 'fess up and say it...really
- I started to sew some clothes for The Duchess, but then the sewing machine blew up and as I haven't even touched one for years and years I have blown over $50 on patterns and material and notions that now appears to be a waste and I feel like Meg in Little Women...really
- I swallowed pride and asked for help from the LSBS girls and Pepper was gracious enough to take on the sewing project I had already cut out...really
- I put bicarb soda on some staining in Chickabid's room yesterday, and now Mister Bear is vacuuming it off for me while I piddle around on the internet...really
- Really. Perfect wife, perfect mother, perfect ambassador for Christ? I don't think so. Not so far this century.
I'd like the organised home, the organised homeschool, the perfect life, but I don't think it is going to happen this side of eternity.
But then there is this:
2 Corinthians 12: 9 - 10
9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
If I could do it all by myself I wouldn't need God. I can't do it by myself, only by his grace and strength. Now if I could just trust Him more and block me out of the picture, things might be different.
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