It's coming up on six years since we made the decision to close the Baby Door. At 35 I was petrified of what another baby would do to my equilibrium and I was battling to cope with the two babies we had. BCPs were no good; they made the depression worse. We talked it over with the doctors most closely involved with my care, and then we made that irreovcable decision. No More Babies.
At 41, with a new diagnosis and new meds, I feel very, very differently.
But the door is shut and it can never be opened.
There is a bit of me that died along with the closing of the door and I will grieve the rest of my life.
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